Phil and Kait's Blog

Moving... again!

2010-06-21T23:54:00.003-04:00

I know it seems like we just got here, but for a number of reasons, none of which include Kaitlyn and I not getting along well enough to share a blog, I am starting my own blog over here. I invite you to come check it out, all of you 8 occasional readers... thank you =].

A Tribute to Craig Simmons

2010-06-16T23:54:00.002-04:00

A few days ago, a friend of mine named Craig Simmons was hit by a bus while walking home from work in South Korea, where he and his wife Kristin (married less than one year) were teaching English. He was in very critical condition when he arrived at the hospital, with severe damage to the right side of his brain and chest. He seemed to get a little bit better every day until yesterday, when things took a turn for the worst. His wife Kirstin was with him yesterday evening (our time) when he passed away. Kaitlyn and I stood by the edge of lake Erie (which looks like an ocean) yesterday after getting the news and just mourned for our friend and brother and for the young widow that he leaves behind. I am studying Philippians 1 in order to preach from that passage in August, and Philippians 1:21 came to mind: "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." I have to believe that it's true. Yet the pain which surrounds that gain is still real, excruciating, and ugly.

I ask you to hold Kristin and their families up in prayer through this unspeakably difficult time. What a painful and unwelcome reminder of the uncertainty of life, the mystery of God's providence, and the need to cherish each day as a gift. I think Craig had a good grasp of this. On June 8th, the day before he was hit by that bus - in other words - his last full day of consciousness, he wrote on his facebook: "One of the best days I've had." Thank you, Lord, for giving Craig such a damn good day. And thank you, that every day now for him is a million times better than June 8th, as he is now perfected in grace and beholding Your face.

I don't really know what else to say right now. I'm weeping as I read what some of the most important people in his live are leaving as final words on his facebook wall:

Charlie McCordic: Craig, we spent so many hours together - in class, my office, at our house, the golf course, and even in Chad. It was a privilege to be your advisor, and even more, to be your friend. You thought I had an influence on you, what a challenge and blessing you were for me! Being in on a wonderful romance, premarital counseling, and then celebrating your wedding was such a joy - those are sweet lifetime memories for us.

Haniel Davy: Looks like we're gonna have to hold off that celebratory steak for a little while brother... looking forward to the Great Reunion!!

I had the privilege of seeing Craig grow downward in humility, wisdom, and faith every year that I knew him. He was a raw, joyful, brilliant man; with depth of soul, depth of laughter, and love in his heart for God and those around him. At 26 he was way too young to die.

I'll just close with some touching words that Denise Spencer wrote about the recent untimely passing of her husband, Michael:

In that moment I realized that the hardness of Michael's death was a reminder that it is not supposed to be this way. Ever read the first three chapters of Genesis? Man was created for life, not death. But we live in a fallen world, and the cherubim still guard the tree of life with white-hot swords. Our only hope is a Redeemer who has conquered death itself and has risen as he said. He will deliver us to a new world, a world where "there shall be no more curse," for "... on either side of the river [is] the tree of life..."

See you there, buddy.

Overly-Zealous Young Men Need a Dose of Richard Sibbes

2010-06-14T16:21:00.004-04:00

As part of my internship at West Highland Baptist Church this summer, I have the opportunity to teach a few College & Career Sunday School classes. The theme we've picked is Faith Transformed by History, and it is an attempt to strengthen the weak areas of our modern Christianity with the powerful insights and lives of saints in the past. So for example, I want to deepen our doctrine of sin and the flesh, so we are going to look at the writings of John Owen. The following paragraphs are the result of thinking about what contribution the writings of Richard Sibbes (especially The Bruised Reed) have to offer us.

I have come across a number of young men at Bible College who are oozing with passion and extremely committed to radical living. Their own personal standards are set very high, and they discipline themselves rigorously in order to live up to it. In one sense, you can't say anything bad about that! These guys are examples to us, they put some of us to shame with their zeal. And yet, I often come away from being with them with a strange sense that something is missing, that something is a little off. But then I always feel like that is probably just my laziness trying to excuse itself from being rebuked by their example. And that's probably at least partially right. But that being said, I do think that there are some dangers that come with being so driven.

First, there can be a ceaseless striving, and it is very easy to start to find one's identity, or worth, in the mightiness of one's striving, instead of in Christ. This is immediately revealed if we are self-righteous and look down on those who are not as disciplined or passionate as we are. This shows that we do not see that our current state is the result of God's grace, but think that it is the result of our own efforts.

Secondly, ceaseless striving can lead to neglecting times of sabbath, and of needed rest. Aside from the biblical principles of sabbath-keeping, Psalm 46:10 says "Be still, and know that I am God." Literally translated, it says "Cease striving and know that I am God." It is important to know something of that rest and stillness in one's life.

Thirdly, I think that the biggest dangers come when such people offer advice or counsel to others. They make this tragic assumption: They assume that everyone could be like them if they just tried harder. I categorically reject this notion. Some people are not able. What a cruel thing to hold this standard over the heads of weaker people who are not able to live up to it. While we should all have a profound sense of inadequacy before the Lord, we should also have an even more profound sense of acceptance with him! Yet some of us (and those in ministry are especially susceptible to this) live with a constant undercurrent of inadequacy and failure and guilt because we do not live up to the great saints of the past or to the most zealous saints of our day. I really appreciate what John Piper said to a group of thousands of pastors, when he was teaching on the life of Jonathan Edwards.

"Not a one of us in this room will be a Jonathan Edwards. He is in a class almost by himself. To think any thought like that would result in nothing but discouragement. We must be ourselves. Write 1 Corinthians 15:10 over every book and conference and seminar - "By the grace of God I am what I am." I could wish to have the strategic genius of a Ralph Winter or the theological precision and insight of a J.I. Packer, but I will not be them nor Jonathan Edwards. But we can learn and we can be inspired to press on, perhaps far beyond our present attainments, in understanding and holiness and faithfulness. We can be good for each other as long as we don't try to mimic. The eye of the body is not the ear and the foot is not the hand."

Yes, we can all learn from each other, but we are not all the same. There are some who for various reasons are weaker vessels. We all know people who are simply naturally strong, who can do well with less sleep and who are blessed with brimming confidence, courage, and sky-high energy levels. Others are from weaker genes and naturally cannot handle too much strain or pressure or stress. Or maybe illness has weakened them. Maybe they are naturally timid, shy, and insecure, and need more sleep to be able to function. And not only does God love these weak ones just as much as the rest of his children, but those who think themselves strong often have much to learn from their weaker brothers and sisters.

And doesn't it make sense that it would be like this? God's kingdom is the kingdom of great reversals. The lowly are exalted, the first will be last, the last will be first, the poor are blessed. Now I'm not trying to let anyone off the hook. We all have great strides to make in zeal, courage, and God-confidence, but what I am saying is that we do not all start at the same place. We do not all have the same size plate, so to speak. A God-glorifying effort by a weaker person to live for and serve the Lord may actually look less impressive than the life a naturally stronger person who is coasting on their gifts and not exerting any real effort to live up to their potential.

The bottom line is that only God knows each person and their situation perfectly, and he will reward each of us according to our lives with perfect justice and righteousness on that last day.

What I think those passionate young guys lack is a kind of brokenness and humility produced by the bumps, downs, and rough spots of life. There is a lack of an appreciation for the frailty and fragility of people; of the profound and lifelong brokenness that sin sometimes produces; of the pervasiveness and depth of the effects of sin; of the limp that, like Jacob, many saints carry from their sanctifying encounters with God; and of how unusually blessed they are with the gifts, abilities, and circumstances they have.

One week in the life of a depressed, bi-polar, or burned-out person would probably cure them rather quickly of their ignorance. But seeing as that is not really possible, a more probable remedy would be to read The Bruised Reed by Richard Sibbes. Here is just a small sample.

"After conversion we need bruising so that reeds may know themselves to be reeds, and not oaks".(The Bruised Reed, p.5)

"The consciousness of the church's weakness makes her willing to lean on her beloved, and to hid herself under his wing". (p.10)

"We must beware of false reasoning, such as: because our fire does not blaze out as others, therefore we have no fire at all." (p.35)

"We must look to grace in the spark as well as in the flame. All have not the like strong, though they have the like precious, faith." (p.36)

He writes that in many ways, "we are debtors to the weak." (ch. 5)

"Let us not be cruel to ourselves when Christ is thus gracious."

"Therefore, if there be any bruised reed, let him not make an exception of himself, when Christ does not make an exception of him." (p.61)

"God's children are strengthened by their falls; they learn to stand by their falls. Like tall cedars the more they are blown the deeper will they be rooted. That which men think is the overthrow of God's children does but root them the deeper, so that after all outward storms and inward declensions this is the issue, "They take root downward and bear fruit upward" for the Lord restoreth their souls."

You really need to read large sections to appreciate the cumulative effect of his thoughts. It is really quite powerful, especially to anyone who is feeling weak, tired, and struggling.

The Best Definition of Sin I've Read...

2010-06-10T15:40:00.004-04:00

"The structure of sin in the human personality is something far more complicated than the isolated acts and thoughts of deliberate disobedience commonly designated by the word. In its biblical definition, sin cannot be limited to isolated instances or [even] patterns of wrongdoing; it is something much more akin to the psychological term complex: an organic network of compulsive attitudes, beliefs and behavior deeply rooted in our alienation from God. Sin originated in the darkening of the human mind and heart as man turned from the truth about God to embrace a lie about him and consequently a whole universe of lies about his creation. Sinful thoughts, words and deeds flow forth from this darkened heart automatically and compulsively, as water from a polluted fountain. ... The human heart is now a reservoir of unconscious disordered motivation and response, of which unrenewed persons are unaware if left to themselves, for "the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately corrupt; who can understand it?" (Jer. 17:9). ... The mechanism by which this unconscious reservoir of darkness is formed is identified in Rom. 1:18-23 as repression of traumatic material, chiefly the truth about God and our condition, which the unregenerate constantly and dynamically "hold down." Their darkness is always a voluntary darkness, though they are unaware that they are repressing the truth."

- From Dynamics of Spiritual Life, by Richard Lovelace.

Also, please pray for Craig Simmons, a dear brother, who has been in Korea with his wife Kristin teaching English. He was on here just a few days ago commenting on another post, but yesterday was hit by a bus and has been through at least two surgeries to deal with serious injuries to his head and right side. As far as I know at this point, he hasn't yet regained consciousness.

The Difference Between Teaching it and Living it

2010-06-06T23:42:00.002-04:00

I heard Tim Keller say something during a Q & A session with some seminary students that was incredibly helpful for me. He was in the middle of teaching on how preachers need to strive to stay close to the Lord in prayer throughout the week and especially on Sundays, so that the act of preaching can be a worshipful experience. The question was basically: how do YOU do that, Dr. Keller? And his answer was something like this: "Oh - you are making a dangerous assumption there. You think that because I can teach this material well, that I am better at living it than you, but that's not necessarily true. There are probably a number of students in this class who are way beyond me in this regard. I have certain gifts of comprehension and communication that enable me to teach this well to others, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I am able to put it into practice any better than you."

That's a rough paraphrase, but it was really helpful for me, because it exposed the fact that I make that assumption all the time, and now I see that it is a very common one in evangelicalism. I hear young guys say things like "John Piper and Paul Washer are probably some of the most godly men alive today." But really, that's quite unlikely. Yes, they are incredibly gifted in passionately communicating great and grand truths, and we can probably say that their preaching is anointed by the Holy Spirit, but just because they can proclaim it effectively doesn't mean that they are ahead of everyone else in living it.

The reason this was helpful for me was because I often feel like I am unqualified to speak on a certain subject or about a given topic, because - God knows - there are many people who are much farther along than me in this area. But maybe that doesn't need to stop me. Sometimes those people who are the most powerful examples of godly living in a particular area are not terribly gifted at communication, and maybe it's up to someone else with more gifts in that area to get the message and challenge across to people. I don't know about you, but I find this empowering. So I don't have to be the most valiant prayer-warrior in town to speak a few bold words about prayer? And I don't have to be the most courageous evangelist to teach on the subject or encourage others to do it?

I can anticipate a reply, perhaps, that would challenge the notion that you can teach on any subject regardless of your personal faithfulness in that area. And I wholeheartedly agree. There is a profound difference between teaching chemistry and teaching Biblical truth. In the first case, frankly, it makes little difference whether the teacher is faithful to his wife or not. He can still be the world's best chemist. In the second case, with a pastor or preacher, it makes all the difference in the world if he is an adulterer or not. It just really does.

So I am not saying that how I live makes no difference on my teaching, but just that there doesn't necessarily need to be a direct correlation between the quality of my teaching and the quality of my personal living-out of whatever it is I taught.

I can think of two really practical applications of this. First, if I teach on joy and find myself tested and struggling in that area soon afterwards, I can fight the devil's accusations that I am a fraud and hypocrite for not living out what I teach. Because I never implied by teaching it that I had it all figured out. Who can live up to that kind of expectation anyways? Second, we need to remember this with those servants of God who have been lifted up to prominence, such as John Piper or Paul Washer, who I am sure cannot and do not live up to the incredible standard that their preaching sets. And this is not a shameful thing, it is simply reality. Setting these men up on pedestals of admiration helps no one.

On the subject of this strange evangelical celebrity subculture that has arisen, of which I am certainly more of an inside observer than an outside one, I have more to say, so stay tuned. My time in Chicago at the Gospel Coalition Council meetings with most of these famous pastors, preachers, authors, and theologians was very eye-opening in that regard.

Cultural Christianity and Youth Groups

2010-06-01T15:48:00.004-04:00

I just read the testimony of Charo Washer, the wife of Paul Washer, who some of you will know. It is a great insight into the dangers of cultural Christianity.

I have been thinking about this subject for some time now, and my thoughts on it are crystallizing more and more. I find it surprising that we don't heard more about it, since in my view it is a monumental issue in youth groups all over North America (at least). It is also a subject that is very close to my heart, since I came to know Christ at the age of 19 having grown up in the church my entire life and believing (and being told) that I was saved when I was not. This is also on my mind because I have the opportunity to teach a Senior High Youth group tomorrow at the church where I am currently serving, and I plan on sharing my testimony as well as some Biblical reflections on what so often happens in youth groups. Please don't misunderstand me, I am not angry at youth pastors or anything. I just think this is an issue where many of our churches have lacked discernment, and I am burdened.

I never cease to be amazed at how many completely un-supernatural reasons people find to act like Christians, join churches, serve in ministry, read their Bibles, and even witness. Some rudimentary knowledge of sociology and group dynamics is all one needs to see that if you have a community where it is expected for people to act a certain way, and those who meet those expectations are given attention, status, and prominence in the group; that in such a setting people will have the motivation to fit in and act in such a way as to meet those expectations.

And therefore, we have youth groups full of "Christians," often baptized, who maybe even go on mission trips and play on worship bands, yet are not themselves born again, regenerated by the Holy Spirit. Many of them will think they are Christians because they act like Christians (at least in public) and - this is key - are treated and spoken to like Christians.

Please don't assume that the young people in your church truly know Jesus.

That is a wicked thing to do.

And don't even say in public settings things like "I assume we are all Christians/children of God here." Just don't do it. Such comments reinforce the Satanic lie in each unregenerate cultural Christian that they are Christians, just struggling ones. That is what I believed when I was baptized at the age of 16 - that I was a Christian, just not a very good one.

What happens is that the older generation passes down the form and structure of the religion without passing along the power of the Spirit. We pass the lingo but not the reality of things behind the God-language we use.

So the result is:

- Young people who know how to pray amazing prayers but have never themselves experienced true communion with the Living God.

- Young people who know that they should ask for forgiveness but have never felt the weight of their sin or true brokenness over their sin before a perfectly holy God.

- Young people who know exactly what Christians are supposed to act like, but instead of having the Holy Spirit-produced desire for righteousness, they (maybe) desire to live that way to please their parents, their friends, or to fulfill the societal expectations of the church culture they live in.

As I read Charo Washer's testimony, I noticed that she repeatedly discerned the natural (flesh) reason for doing what she did. Consider:

Speaking of her adolescent conversion, she writes: "I prayed with a professor that took me aside after chapel and felt relieved. I was not relieved of my sin, because I had no conviction of sin. I was simply relieved to be safe from hell and in the same group with the rest of my friends."

Speaking on her desire to be a missionary: "Looking back on everything, I now realize that I was driven by the romantic thought of missions. It was all a work of the flesh and nothing more."

Speaking on her involvement in church and youth groups: "I now realize that I was motivated to continue on the Christian life by the love of the group I was in. It was a great place to be with good people and good friends."

She concludes: "I shudder with fear as I look back on my life. Morality and religious activity alone, even missionary activity are not enough to prove the validity of our salvation if there is no recognition of depravity, genuine repentance, faith in Christ, victory over sin, and a sincere desire to know and be known by God."

Each new generation must experience God for themselves. As my dear missiology teacher would say, "God has no grandchildren." I like that.

Are we really giving our young people this message? Or are we so concerned about them staying in the church and attending youth group that we are not clearly teaching them the difference between Churchianity and the true gospel?

Evangelical churches are hemorrhaging huge numbers of young people between High School and College age. The reasons are certainly complex, but I think it's at least partially because the sociological factors (groups of friends, great activities, etc...) that were keeping them in the church through High School simply aren't there when they enter College. It's not just that they are leaving churches geographically and going to live out their faith at College. No, many are leaving the church period.

And what I'm not saying is that we need to find ways to get them back... No no no! - that is the kind of thinking that kept them coming to youth group while unregenerate.

We brilliantly thought of a thousand ways to make youth group AWESOME and they came. We also thought of a thousand reasons not to tell them so many crucial, difficult, Biblical truths.

What we need to do is preach the gospel to them in such a way that they will see clearly the difference between elder-brother religiosity and a life transformed by the gospel. But in order to do that we ourselves need to understand this gospel more vividly, in order to truly see that all-important difference.

I hope and pray that we'll start to think more deeply about these things, for the sake of every new generation that arrives. As for me, by God's grace I'll share some crucial, difficult, Biblical truths tomorrow night and pray that He is pleased to reveal Himself to some teenagers who are as deceived as I was at their age.

Contentment

2010-05-19T16:49:00.000-04:00

I have this condition of the heart lately – an almost constant longing for something more, something else. I want today to be tomorrow. I want to be anywhere but here. I want to travel somewhere new, to book Phil’s and my next vacation even though we just got back from a short one. I want to start a family. I want to own our own home. I want, I want, and I want some more. With the internet as it is, we’re all given a chance to peer into other people’s lives through blogs, facebook, twitter, etc. and I find that it is so easy to imagine most people have a far more fascinating and wonderful life than I do. And even without that, I think it has always been easy to imagine I “need” more than what I already have, and to look ahead to the future with longing without living in the opportunity of today.

“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.” (1 Timothy 6:6-7)

Contentment. That hits home to me today. I don’t think I could be living farther from that in my heart these days.

When I think about all that I do have, I realize that God has been very generous with me. I feel and know this most deeply when I think about the amazing husband God has blessed me with. When it comes to Phil, I truly could not ask for more in a husband (although sadly, there are plenty of times where I selfishly think he ought to be a whole lot more). When I'm thinking clearly, I know that Phil is absolutely perfect for me and more loving than I have ever known. But you know what? Even if I were to get to the place where I could honestly say that I could be content with only Phil and nothing else - no other possessions - I would be (perhaps a little crazy and) completely off-base in where I placed the source of my contentment. Even Phil could be taken from me someday. He was never meant to be the one to fulfill me and be my joy’s security.

It is so clear to me today that my contentment is not resting in what it ought to be at this point in my life. The only true contentment will be found in an intimate, alive relationship with Christ. It will be found in gratitude for what I have been given and who I am in Him and the knowledge of my sure hope to someday forever be with the God of the universe who for some reason happens to love me with a greater love than I can comprehend! That is the only unshakable foundation for contentment in this life. Frankly, lately I have spent far too much time sighing over little wants than gazing at the One who makes all those other things I want seem as small in importance as they actually are. Sure they’re all good things, and I very well may be blessed with some of them someday, but what about today? Because of Christ and His great love towards me there is enough in this moment for all the contentment and joy I could imagine. But will I see it and embrace the truth of it with all my heart? Will you? Pray with me that it will be so. I can almost taste the peace and freedom found there.

My Wife

2010-05-08T20:40:00.004-04:00

My wife is my life's delight. She is an incredible woman. She radiates with elegance, beauty, brightness and joy. I have never met a woman her age who has such a paradoxical mixture of depth and lightheartedness. Having experienced much suffering herself, she has an amazing ability to relate to and minister to hurting people. She has a maturity and soberness that usually takes a few decades of bumps and bruises along life's journey to develop. But at the same time she's the silliest person I know, capable of laughing deeply and hysterically and making me do the same.

Her walk with the Lord is real and raw, and usually more intimate than mine. She oozes spiritual discernment and can speak piercing truth into situations with unusual clarity. She strives to know her God intimately, finding her worth in His love for her rather than what she can accomplish for Him. Yet she is incredibly ministry-minded, and naturally gives herself to the people around her. Those who have been close to her know that she loves, prays, and cares deeply for others. She is wise in relationships, and especially gifted in ministering to other women.

But God has also seen fit to adorn her with weaknesses to balance her strengths, and also, I believe, for my growth and sanctification. During the year before our wedding, she went through severe burnout as a result of complete ministry overload, planning a wedding, family issues, medical trials, and physical ailments. Now this past year she has been forced to slow down dramatically from her old pace of life, and to such a degree that an uninformed outsider might think her passive or lazy. But that is literally the farthest thing from the truth. Panic attacks, social anxiety, and other psychological and physical symptoms have been the results when she tries to resume "normal" life. My beautiful, talented, gifted, intelligent, driven, passionate wife has been forced to slow down, and so have I. But the world doesn't really let you slow down. As a young adult, you're expected to keep the same unsustainably busy and franctic pace of life as others. But some of our bodies can't actually handle that. Serotonin levels and adrenal glands deplete and fizz out, and you're left physically incapable of doing normal life. I don't know, I guess that's partly why I'm writing this. And because I love thinking about how great Kaitlyn is.

My wife is my life's delight.

Her husband arises and calls her blessed;
he praises her:

"Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

Proverbs 31:28-29

Reflections on This Good Friday

2010-04-02T16:07:00.002-04:00

It's Good Friday today. I had a lovely morning with Phil, making brunch and reading together the most wondrous story of Jesus' crucifixion for my sins. Though a very familiar story to me, it brought tears to my eyes today. Lately it seems that each new week that goes by I grasp and feel deeper the weight, wonder and freedom of the Gospel message, realizing more and more how it truly is life to those of us who accept it.

The Worldviews course I have been taking this semester is opening my eyes to the incredible logic and reason that supports all I have thus far believed in faith. I have always feared apologetics because of the obnoxious pushiness I have seen in too many people who try to shove it down others' throats; but, as I have studied, my mind and my heart are being filled to overflowing as I am becoming more convinced than ever that Christianity holds the answers of the soul and makes sense of existence in this world. I cannot wait to share what I am discovering! I find it interesting that the internship Phil and I are moving to Hamilton for this summer is focused on evangelism. I am praying for opportunity to share with those who have questions and are seeking.

For right now though, I am sitting here alone, curled up on our comfy couch, with a soft, warm breeze coming in through the windows. Usually Good Fridays are rainy and cold, but not this one! The sun is shining and giving us the best spring has to offer. Buds are on the trees and early flowers have pushed through the earth and turned their heads toward the sun. The sound of Pastor Greg (who lives behind us) playing baseball in his backyard with his two sweet little grandsons is a delight to my ears (and what inspired me to set aside my homework for a few minutes to write). I couldn't help smiling hearing Pastor Greg shout with delight at one of the boys' hits, encouraging him as the little guy ran from base to base shouting back to his dad, "Hey dad! Look at me! Look at me go!" I immediately put down my book and smiled, pondering the way God has designed us to desire the attention and approval of our fathers. I felt like God gave me an earthly portrait of how we are designed to interact with Him, our Heavenly Father. I sure do feel like that little boy inside, wanting to cry out with delight to my Father, longing for His smiling face and encouraging cheer to press on. It is there if I look for it. Yet how many of us grow up and learn to tame those childish squeals and find out the hard way that in life on earth we rarely get those who will smile and cheer us on - but what a shame that we lose that childlikeness with our Heavenly Father who does not change and whose love endures forever!

Watching loving parents with their children is good for my soul. They give me valuable glimpses into a reflection of the way God loves me. I really want to know God as the loving Father He truly is, not just what I've projected onto Him from some negative earthly experiences.

Mark 10: 13-16

"People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them."

Questions of the Heart

2010-03-09T01:20:00.001-05:00

The natural human heart responds to suffering by crying out "why me?!"; and to success it responds by agreeably asking, "why not me?" The gospel, however, so transforms the heart that it asks the opposite questions. To suffering, it humbly says "why not me?"; and to blessings, it wonders aloud, "why me?"

The gospel changes our perspective. Whereas before we thought ourselves as a bit better than the rest, and therefore respond to suffering with indignation, "I don't deserve this!"; now we realize that we do deserve suffering, and we deserve so much more than we will ever experience. Not only that, but all the suffering we endure in this life as children of God is the loving discipline of our perfect heavenly Father, and not an ounce of it is the punishment we deserve, for Jesus took all punishment upon himself. Before, we responded to success and good fortune with a sense of having earned it, "this is right - this is how it ought to be!"; but now in the gospel we see that every blessing, and there are more than we could possibly count, is a gracious gift, not earned in light of what we've done, but given despite what we've done.

All well and good - but in the middle of the many little sufferings and little blessings of everyday life, what questions do we ask? So often we who have the gospel don't live in light of it. By the grace we received through the gospel, and the Holy Spirit who dwells in us, let's strive to live increasingly more of life in light of the gospel, repenting unto joy as we go.

Puritan thoughts...

2010-01-23T13:19:00.003-05:00

Reading Thomas Brooks' Precious Remedies Against Satan's Devices last night, I thought I should make the habit of writing down some summary statements as I read through it, to help me internalize the truths therein.

The layout of the book is simple, he names a 'device' that Satan uses to trap and deceive Christians (and non-Christians) and then lists some 'remedies' for the believer to use against that device.

Device #1: To present the bait and hide the hook. To show the enjoyment and fulfillment that will flow from yielding to sin, and to hide from the soul the misery, bitterness, and wrath that will follow the committing of the sin.

Remedies: 1) First, keep at the greatest distance from sin, and from playing with the golden bait that Satan holds forth to catch you. Brooks writes: "Sin is a plague, yea, the greatest and most infectious plague in the world; and yet, ah! how few are there that tremble at it, that keep at a distance from it!" How true - the Biblical teaching on sin is uncompromising. Sin is venom, a seed which produces only the fruit of death and misery, and yet how few there are today who truly see it for what it is and hate it, flee from it, and tremble at the destructive power of it.

Brooks goes on: "Ah, how doth the father's sin infect the child, the husband's infect the wife, the master's the servant! The sin that is in one man's heart is able to infect a whole world, it is of such a spreading and infectious nature." Secular psychology has discovered this - have we forgotten it? Sin is not an incommunicable disease, it is contagious. Anger in the father breeds anger in the son. Callousness in the husband breeds bitterness in the wife. Bitterness is especially dangerous, for it is deep - a root that grows up to defile many (Heb. 12:15). What havoc and destruction can be wrought in close-knit communities when sin goes unchecked.

Remedy 2) Consider, that sin is but a bitter sweetness. The apparent sweetness that is in sin will quickly vanish and be replaced by lasting shame, sorrow, horror, and terror.

Remedy 3) "Solemnly to consider, that sin will usher in the greatest and saddest losses that can be upon our soul. It will usher in the loss of that divine favour which is better than life, and the loss of that joy that is unspeakable and full of glory, and the loss of that peace that passes understanding, and the loss of those divine influences by which the soul has been refreshed, quickened, raised, strengthened, and gladdened."

Remedy 4) "Seriously to consider, that sin is of a very deceitful and bewitching nature... It will kiss the soul, and pretend to be fair to the soul, and yet betray the soul forever." "A man bewitched with sin had rather lose God, Christ, heaven, and his own soul than part with his sin. Oh, therefore, for ever take heed of playing with or nibbling at Satan's golden baits!"

There is a pervasive notion nowadays that talking about sin seriously like this is... passé, unhelpful, and potentially offensive. Certainly, it's old-fashioned. But reading these words from this wise old doctor of the soul, I think we all know intrinsically how true they are. Maybe we need to find a way to communicate these truths in a way that doesn't elicit rolling eyes and sighs, but we most certainly need to keep this kind of perspective in ourselves, and hopefully in churches. Or else, a light view of sin will continue to keep the door wide open for Satan to come in and wreak untold destruction and brokenness in people's lives and families and communities.

Some links...

2010-01-21T11:00:00.004-05:00

Balancing Family, Marriage & Ministry: Some very practical and helpful advice from Ed Stetzer.

Steve Bell's balanced, hopeful, thought-provoking reflections on the History of Haiti:

Al Mohler's Gospel-centered thoughts on Haiti:

And, for good measure, some free-style rap

Thinking About Law, Curse, and the Gospel

2010-01-16T12:53:00.004-05:00

I signed up to receive a quote that reminds me of the gospel every day from the blog Of First Importance. Today, it was this quote, from pastor and author Ray Ortlund Jr.: "What is the curse of the law [Gal. 3:13]? It is the or-else-ness of the law: ‘Do this, or else.’ Christ took the or-else-ness of the law onto himself at the cross, so that there is no more or-else for anyone in Christ, as God looks upon us now. Or-else is gone forever from your relationship with God."

Deep down, I know that the gospel is that good. There is no more "or else" for me, in Jesus. But my experience as a Christian is more complicated than that, because there are clear and severe consequences for my many sins. For example, if I make Christian ministry an idol in my life, which for me is a real and constant struggle, then I make my relationship with God and my relationship with my wife a means to that end. I begin to subtly see my relationships with God and my wife as primarily about serving the goal of Christian ministry, which is a distortion and reduction of what those relationships are really about (I'm currently in the process of learning all this). Over time, the consequences of that sin are disastrous - a slow but steady alienation occurs as my wife learns that my true desire is for ministry, not her. By sinning in this way, I am sowing the seeds of the destruction of my family by trying to make it serve my idol of ministry. Sadly, we've seen this happen is far too many people's lives and families.

But here is my point: in the gospel, we are no longer punished for our sins, since Christ has taken our punishment on the cross. Yet the consequences of our sins as Christians are often just as devastating as for non-Christians. So if those painful consequences are not punishment, what are they? I think Hebrews 12:7 sheds light on this - "Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons." The writer of Hebrews is not saying "some of your hardships are really God's merciful discipline, but some of your hardships are just the result of your own stupidity and sin." No, he is saying that we are to endure all hardship as God's gracious and merciful discipline, which confirms our legitimacy as His children. For Christians, the consequences of our sins are God's mercy to us - they are the kindness of God which leads us to repentance, not the anger or wrath of God at our sins.

Kaitlyn has been dwelling on Jeremiah 2 lately, and came across these verses: "Your wickedness will punish you; your backsliding will rebuke you. Consider then and realize how evil and bitter it is for you when you forsake the LORD your God and have no awe of me" (Jeremiah 2:19). God seems to be saying that the punishment for sin is sin itself - wickedness and backsliding are their own punishment. I love this because it screams the fact that God is our greatest good! He is the gospel, and since he is the source of all true joy and peace, to turn to anything else can only result in misery, and in a very real way, wickedness is its own punishment.

But if sin is its own punishment, then do we experience God's punishment on us as Christians when we sin? It seems to me, that even though the cycle of sin and its consequences might look almost identical in a Christian and non-Christian's life, it is fundamentally different for the Christian - the consequences for his sin are part of God's mercy towards him. We see this time and time again in the Old Testament prophets, when God promised to bring judgment on His people in order to turn them back to Him. For the pagan nations, however, there was no redemptive undercurrent to their punishment and judgment, just like there is no redemption when non-Christians reap the consequences of their sin (unless God graciously uses it for his purposes of course).

I don't know if this all made sense, or if it's completely correct, but it's part of my trying to figure out just how God can really cause "all things to work for good" (Rom. 8:28) in my life, and how it is that he graciously gives us "all things" (Rom. 8:32).

Reflections on Christian Leadership and Burnout

2010-01-06T00:53:00.000-05:00

While studying for my Missiology exam last semester I came across this quote by my professor in one of my lecture notes about Christian leadership:

"While there are many important things to be learned about effective leadership, the most important thing comes only by spending significant time at the feet of Jesus, becoming mesmerized by His heartbeat and captured by His love. If the present crisis in leadership is to be solved, if adequate numbers of quality leaders are to step forward, many important efforts will have to be made. But it will be all for naught unless the battle of the heart is won first. Only a heart like that Jesus can bear the pain."

As a person still stumbling out of the rubble of burnout in ministry, I am deeply moved reading this. "The most important thing comes only by spending significant time at the feet of Jesus, becoming mesmerized by His heartbeat and captured by His love ... Only a heart like that of Jesus can bear the pain." As I reflect on my journey of burnout and the great challenges of ministry, I am deeply aware that the most fatal mistake I made was slowly ceasing to spend that time at the feet of Jesus for myself (not just in prayer or preparation to teach or minister to others). I needed to be reminded and refreshed by the reality of His personal love for me, but my hectic schedule just did not allow it. My time was packed so full that eventually my times with God consisted of a cry to Him for help and drifting off to the sleep my body desperately needed. The longer I went without that intimate time with my Savior, the more helpless and impatient I became in reaching out to others, and the more I avoiding God because I feared He was as demanding and needy as I felt everyone else in my life was. Eventually I hit bottom and, thankfully, soon after my responsibilities came to an end and I have been ushered into a time of rest when I can come humbly before my loving Lord and allow Him to rebuild what was broken.

This journey of burnout initially made me want to swear off any form of ministry or people-helping for good. Suddenly a desk job staring at a computer screen all day sounded like the best job in the world! There are great joys in Gospel ministry and seeing lives change; but along with it comes the burden and pain of leadership that is very great. There is much sacrifice in it - one does not have to be long in ministry to find this.

My Missiology professor used the imagery of an old Japanese proverb when giving a lecture on leadership: "The nail that sticks up will be hammered down." To presume one can stand up and lead people is often looked upon as arrogance today. It is a much more popular concept to "lead from within". I myself used to hold to this image of leadership and never desired "title" or "position" and didn't necessarily appreciate anyone else holding such a status over me. I have come to see, however, that Scripture's consistent metaphor of God's people being like sheep in need of a shepherd challenges that concept of leadership. Passages like Num. 27:16-18, Matt. 9:35-37, Mark 6:33-35 show that when God's people are without leaders, they are like sheep without a shepherd, each going his own way and lost. Leadership is necessary, and done Scripturally, it is the farthest thing from arrogance - it involves following in Jesus' footsteps - it will mean laying down one's life for others.

I see in my generation an avoidance of humble, sacrificial leadership and responsibility - in many areas, but certainly in spiritual leadership. I definitely see among women in the North American church two extremes when it comes to leadership: either 1) a complete avoidance of taking our call to truly know Jesus and grow in His likeness and teach and exhort younger women to love the Lord and their families, or 2) a wrongful pursuit of the highest levels of leadership regardless of Scripture's instruction on orderly worship. This has left me with a deep ache in my heart. I long to see the women in our churches realizing that if they know Jesus Christ as Lord they have a beautiful calling to leadership - to continue to pursue Him, to dig deep into the Word, to neither be afraid of nor ignore theology as though it is the men's domain (nor think they are lesser if they have not studied theology - we have the Spirit of God within our hearts who instructs us in all truth), and to reach out to teach younger women (no matter what your age - there are always those younger)!

It is always easier to go the other way from leadership, especially if you have been burned by it, as I have been. I have been tempted to run the other way, but through much time off and reflection I have found engraved upon my heart a burden and burning within my heart that I cannot shake - to live out what God calls me to. How much humility I need God to grow in me to be able to step out as the stumbling Christian that I am and say that I will take responsibility in all areas of my life to seek by God's help to live a life worthy of following. How quickly that plants me on my knees asking for God to do it through me, for I know (and have already experienced) the danger of trying to do it in my own strength. It is only through the strength found in His arms that any of us will ever be able to live through the joys and deepest heartaches that are Gospel ministry.

Not that many will ever read this, but this is my humble call to my own heart and to my generation of Christians, whether you consider yourself the "leader-type" or not: May we live at the feet of Jesus, being captured and transformed by His heart for us, and out of that, let us stand up in this world full of sheep lost and going astray to love and lead them to the Shepherd.

Finding God in the End-of-Semester Insanity

2009-12-12T19:51:00.008-05:00

I'm working on a research paper for my Prison Epistles class. It is a 10-page paper that was due on Thursday, but for a variety of reasons I only started working on it yesterday. This is my 4th year at Heritage College now, and I'm pretty well used to the end-of-semester insanity: it's a two or three week stretch where life is absurd. We work on papers and assignments and study for exams constantly, sleeping here and there when exhaustion overtakes us, and are almost completely driven by stress and anxiety to get everything done. The engine that moves us is the fear of failure, along with a dose of guilt for not having done the work sooner.

It has been my repeated experience during these times that any intimacy I had with God quickly evaporates amidst the heat of the pressure and stress. It's almost like when push comes to shove, well, I shove God out of the way: "Ahh I just need to get this stuff done!!" By the time the last paper is handed in, or the last exam written, my heart is such a frayed, barren wasteland that it takes some time before peace, rest, and intimacy with Jesus are restored to me.

Also, ironically (or maybe just sadly), the opportunity I had to grow from studying and reading and learning so much precious truth is sacrificed on the altar of productivity; forgotten in the midst of a flurry of anxious toil.

Well, after three years of that, I'm trying something new. I'm trying to walk through this time more God-consciously than I usually do. It's been a huge blessing so far, although its true that my academic performance has dipped. I was doing some research tonight for that Prison Epistles paper and read this following passage in a book, The Message of Evil and Suffering, by Peter Hicks. I was just so blown away by the beauty of the truth of these words, but I never would have taken two seconds to reflect on them if I was in my usual tunnel-vision, git-r-done mode:

"We have a God who suffers. The evil and the sin of the world break his heart. The suffering and the hurt we go through cause him sorrow and pain. In love and grace and infinite goodness he has chosen to bear our sin and carry our sorrows, to draw close to us in our pain and our darkness. Confronted with such a profound truth, we can respond to our own suffering in one of two ways. We can ignore God's involvement in it; we can face it alone, perhaps with stoic courage or perhaps by giving way to doubt, self-pity, anger and the like. Alternatively, we can accept God's involvement. We can acknowledge that he comes to us in our suffering; we can choose to be drawn near to him through it. ... In our suffering and weakness he speaks grace to us; it is ours to choose whether we refuse that grace and walk the road alone, or take it and find it sufficient. For in the gift of suffering there is also the gift of the suffering One, and there can be no greater gift than that.

"'Not that way,' we say. 'Any other way; the way of committed service, the way of holy living, the way of deep study of the Scriptures, the way of meditation and prayer. But not the way of suffering.' True, there are many ways of drawing close to our God, and he uses them all. But the choice of which ones he offers us has to be his. And of this we can be sure: our heavenly Father will give only good gifts to his children."

Amen. I hope all my fellow students manage to find some peace and serenity in the midst of a crazy time of year.

Thoughts on the DaVinci Code..

2009-11-28T16:21:00.005-05:00

I can't help thinking that I'm terribly out-of-step with pop culture here. Who cares about the DaVinci Code? That is so 2006. We are on to Angels and Demons now! Well I guess you'll have to check back somewhere around 2012 for my thoughts on Angels and Demons - if the world hasn't self-destructed by then.

Don't worry - I'm not about to offer some sort of apologetic response, pointing all of the lies and historical fallacies in the movie. Obviously that has been done a few times already.

I watched the movie last night with Kaitlyn in an effort to be more relevant (don't laugh!). I enjoyed it, but I think Kaitlyn found it a bit spooky. It is a bit weird to see a murderous self-mutilating psycho-monk focused on Christ so much in his twisted version of 'obedience.' Anyways, it got me thinking about how so many people are naturally drawn to stories of mysterious cults, secret societies, and massive conspiracy theories. I know because I am one of them. That stuff just fascinates me.

The power of conspiracy-filled stories like the DaVinci Code is not in their ability to disprove Christianity or anything historical - they really has no factual basis for doing that. No - the power of such stories lies in their ability to sow seeds of subtle doubt that anything deserves certainty. Being essentially skeptical, they discourage the notion that anything, especially anything old, can be known with any degree of certainty. The skeptic's attitude is always to suspect that whatever the evidence points to, "That's what they want you to believe." Certainty is a futile quest. They do not attempt to argue on any actually factual basis, but on the basis that whatever you think you believe, you might actually be wrong.

On the other hand, I found that the DaVinci Code also fuels that human desire to know hidden truth, the mysteries of history and the world. I don't mean that good and healthy desire to know the truth; I mean that prideful craving for ultimate knowledge - to know the mysteries, to be among the few enlightened ones, finally above the unwashed masses who are blind in their ignorance. The Matrix played on that desire as well.

To such desires, I find Psalm 131 to be a beautiful remedy.

My heart is not proud, O Lord,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.

But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, put your hope in the Lord
both now and forevermore.

Remember that this was written by King David, who surely was concerned with "great matters" of international politics, economics, wars, and God's plan for Israel. Yet he knew that He was merely a man and that there were still many things that even he as the king of Israel was not meant to know.

Renewal in the Church

2009-11-17T00:52:00.003-05:00

I've been reading "Dynamics of Spiritual Renewal" by Richard Lovelace. I picked it up because Tim Keller quotes Lovelace quite a bit, and I guess that was reason enough for me.

I am only about a hundred pages into it, with three hundred more to go, but it has been incredible. It would take me pages and pages to summarize it and share all of my thoughts, and maybe someday I'll do that, but I just wanted to share a little bit that I read tonight.

"Only a fraction of the present body of professing Christians are solidly appropriating the justifying work of Christ in their lives. ... Many have a theoretical commitment to this doctrine, but in their day-to-day existence they rely on their sanctification for justification, in the Augustinian manner, drawing their assurance of acceptance with God from their sincerity, their past experience of conversion, their recent religious performance or the relative infrequence of their conscious, willful disobedience. Few know enough to start each day with a thoroughgoing stand upon Luther's platform: you are accepted, looking outward in faith and claiming the wholly alien righteousness of Christ as the only ground for acceptance, relaxing in that quality of trust which will produce increasing sanctification as faith is active in love and gratitude.

"In order for a pure and lasting work of spiritual renewal to take place within the church, multitudes within it must be led to build their lives on this foundation. This means that they must be conducted into the light of a full conscious awareness of God's holiness, the depth of their sin and the sufficiency of the atoning work of Christ for their acceptance with God, not just at the outset of their Christian lives but in every succeeding day."

That last paragraph resonates with me, as just on this past Sunday night I spoke to 30 young men with as much passion and persuasion as I could muster about building their lives on this foundation. Reading this today only reinforced just how crucial this truth is for the Church.

Reading that last sentence, that "they must be conducted into the light of a full conscious awareness of God's holiness, the depth of their sin and the sufficiency of the atoning work of Christ for their acceptance with God," I felt that I would be happy if my life was spent doing that very thing, and maybe starting to set the foundation for a true, deep, powerful renewal of God's Church.

Quenching the Holy Spirit

2009-10-26T12:42:00.006-04:00

Quench
to put out or extinguish (fire, flames, etc.)

I have this habit, and I haven't decided if it's a good one or a bad one yet, where I get a new book and instead of reading it through, I read the first chapter and the last chapter. Sometimes I'll skim through the middle and look for things that interest me. It's surprising how much you can understand what an author is saying by doing that. I tend to do this for a couple of reasons: first, I simply don't have the time (read: don't want to take the time) to read through everything; and second, I got the book because I want to hear what conclusion the author comes to, not really how he got there.

One of the books I've recently done this with is Keep In Step with the Holy Spirit, by J.I. Packer. There are some Christian authors who tend to be either liked or disliked, agreed with and disagreed with. In this camp you would have guys like Rick Warren, Bill Hybels, Brian MacLaren, Rob Bell, John MacArthur, and Mark Driscoll for example. And then there are guys who are almost universally accepted and respected. In this camp you would have guys like John Stott, J.I. Packer, and C.S. Lewis. I may be wrong about this, but it's really the sense I get. So when I was reading Packer's book on the Holy Spirit, I was very excited to see how bold he was in calling the Christians and the Church back to "keeping in step with the Holy Spirit." This is a lengthy quote, but I think it raises positively crucial questions for churches today:

"Now it is hard to deny that we inherit today a situation in which the Spirit of God has been quenched. Unnatural as it may be, the Spirit's power is absent from the majority of our churches. What has caused that? In some quarters, certainly, it is the direct result of devaluing the Bible and the gospel and wandering out of the green pastures of God's Word into the barren flats of human speculation. In other places, however, where the 'old paths' of evangelical belief have not been abandoned, the quenching of the Spirit is due to attitudes and inhibitions on the personal and practical level, which have simply stifled his work. Perhaps the words conventionality and traditionalism best express what I have in mind. There is subtle tenacity abroad that remains wedded to the way things were done a hundred years ago. It thinks that it renders God service by being faithful (that is the word used) to these outmoded fashions; it never faces the possibility that they might need amending today if ever we are to communicate effectively with each other and with those outside our circles. Letting our inherited buildings dictate what we do and do not do when we meet in them is part of this traditionalist syndrome - and it is often a very potent part, as surely as we can all see. Churches tend to run in grooves of conventionality, and such grooves quickly turn into graves.

"Here is where the challenge to institutional radicalism comes in: a challenge to which charismatic groups have been noticeably more alert than some others. Only styles and structures that serve the Spirit should stand. Everything bogging us down in lifeless routines or retaining the fruitful use of spiritual gifts or encouraging people in the pews to become passengers should be changed, no matter how sacrosanct we previously took it to be. The Holy Spirit is not a sentimentalist as too many of us are; he is a change agent, and he comes to change human structures as well as human hearts. Change for its own sake is mere fidgeting, but change that gets rid of obstacles to God's fullest blessing is both a necessity and a mercy.

"How much change are we willing to accept, in order to reach the point where the Spirit is no longer quenched? Are we radical enough in our view of traditional patterns as potential Spirit grievers and Spirit quenchers? Are we sufficiently ready to alter them if it should appear that this really is their effect? This question will not go away; we have to live with it, and much depends, for the health of both our own souls and of our churches, on how we face up to it."

Kaitlyn shared with me recently her thoughts after having read her Missiology textbook. She was reading about the history of missions, and she was struck with how often and how consistently it was the human efforts & plans of Christian missionaries that quenched what the Holy Spirit was doing in a people. The fact remains today that we so often get in the way of what the God is doing. In a sense, of course, God accomplishes what He wills and we cannot stop or hinder Him, but in another sense, we have the responsibility - especially anyone in some sort of spiritual leadership - to keep in the step with the Spirit and not hinder or quench Him.

I can't help but think of churches that I know, where allegiance to traditional forms and structures clearly alienates and distances unbelievers. Sometimes these churches weaken and decline so dreadfully that they come to a point of crisis where they are desperate and willing to change simply out of necessity. This is God's discipline on churches, and it is a sign of His love and grace, because it is at this point of crisis that they have hope for change and a fresh new breath of the Holy Spirit.

But many other churches, enamored with "the good ol' days" with the "good ol' ways" continue on, lacking the vitality and life that only the Holy Spirit can give. And not seeing their need for repentance and change, they are content to continue in their increasingly segregated sub-culture of traditionalist Christianity while the community and culture around them grow increasingly distant and unable to understand or relate to them.

The trouble with this kind of talk is that the very people who need to think hard and deep about it are understandably skeptical about it. It smells of compromise. It tastes of those Christians who in an effort to be "relevant" have become indistinguishable from the world. I agree wholeheartedly that that is an extreme to be avoided, but what I am trying to say is that there is another extreme to be avoided as well, one that traditional and conservative churches are far more in danger of falling into.

Tim Keller explains this brilliantly in a short video interview (you can find it on iTunes by searching for The Gospel Coalition podcast. It is a video interview with Tim Keller and Don Carson called "What Causes Fragmentation in Evangelicalism Today?"). He says that there are basically two camps that most evangelicals fall into. On one hand you have those who think that the main problem is that culture is so bad, so corrupted, so sinful, that we have to be extremely vigilant against it, and make sure we do not become polluted - the main problem is that the church is being polluted by the world, and being assimilated into it. On the other hand, you have some who say the exact opposite - that the main problem - is that we have become disengaged, distant, isolated, withdrawn, marginal, too conservative, and out of tune with the lost world. Keller points out that the Bible calls us to a balance between these two (1 Peter 2:12), and watching out for both extremes. Choosing one side over the other is always easier, but we are called to hold these things in tension.

I think that this gets at the heart of a balance that churches need to struggle with. Every one of us is probably prone to one side or the other - I know that I am more prone to the first one, to wanting to separate and distinguish ourselves from the world at all costs - yet we are all called to live in tension and to guard against the unhealthy extremes.

So I ask you, what are you more prone to? What is your church more prone to? What do you have to guard against? And where in your life or your church does there need to be an intentional effort to bring about balance?

As we ask and wrestle with these hard questions, I am convinced that the Holy Spirit will be pleased to empower our efforts, reviving our souls and - Lord may it be so - our churches.

Reflections on Being Late for Church

2009-10-25T11:00:00.003-04:00

The service is starting right about... now.

It is always an interesting experience, being late for church. For me, it isn't an altogether infrequent experience either, so perhaps that makes me uniquely qualified to reflect upon it.

I usually go through a few emotions throughout the process of waking up, getting ready, and heading out the door. When it dawns on me that we aren't "going to make it," my reaction of anxiety and frustration is probably more telling than I'd like. If you asked me what the purpose of Sunday morning services was, I would tell you something along the lines of "It is to gather as God's people and worship together, enjoying fellowship with God and with each other." Naturally, therefore, being late for and missing part of this event should elicit sadness and disappointment, not anxiety and frustration. The fact that I am anxious reveals that I'm afraid what people will think of me, being late... again. I'm afraid that they won't think well of me - I'm afraid that they will think I'm just not very serious about this whole church thing. And I'm frustrated at whatever made me late, whether that's me or something else, ensuring that the whole trip to Church will be a very wonderful experience for all, including the other drivers on the road who get to experience my extra-charitable I'm-late-for-Church Sunday morning driving habits.

A friend told me about a greeter at his church who was probably not gifted for that kind of ministry. If someone came in late, he would angrily point to his watch and hiss "the service starts at ten thirty, not ten forty-five!!" I guess sometimes I think everyone feels that way - or worse - that God feels that way.

But this morning I'm trying to remind myself of the truth: that I don't need to fear what people will think. That instead I should I should try to please my Father in heaven, who cares infinitely more about my heart than when I clock into the morning service.

The greeters at our church remind me of God that way. I always expect a frown, a smirk, a sarcastic comment, or even a glance at the watch accompanied by a slow shaking of the head, but instead I always get a big genuine smile with a hearty handshake and "welcome!"

And that's exactly the kindness and grace a late person needs.

The Gospel Centered Life

2009-10-15T09:33:00.003-04:00

I have been very blessed and impressed by The Gospel Centered Life, a nine-lesson curriculum published by the World Harvest Mission agency. I requested a free review copy and have been slowly working through it. I have not seen anything that communicates the gospel and its all-encompassing implications as succinctly and clearly as this.

Personally, reading lesson two this morning was such a good reminder of how I am so prone to "shrink the cross" - which is to say - so prone to minimize the importance of the cross. I do this in two ways: pretending that I am better than I really am, and believing that I can perform well enough for God to love and accept me.

Pretending that I am better than I really am means minimizing my sin and deceiving myself about how broken and twisted I am, and how deep my selfishness goes. I do these things to feel better about myself, to avoid the crushing weight of my sin. But here is the key: the reason I avoid truly seeing and feeling my sinfulness is that I am resting in myself for righteousness and not Jesus. If I am trusting Jesus for my righteousness and acceptance with God, my sin will not be a crushing weight, it will be humbling but I will look to my Savior and rejoice that He loved me and gave Himself for me.

Performing is the other side of this coin. When I try to perform in order to impress God, I am essentially minimizing God's awesome holiness. I am saying that his standard is low enough for me to reach, if I really try my hardest. This of course is legalism - trying to find favor with God by obeying the law. But we can make our own laws without even knowing it. I can begin to feel that God favors me over other people because my theology is correct and theirs is wrong. I can start to believe that I am accepted by God because I believe rightly, not because Jesus died for me. What this does is that I begin looking down on those whose theology isn't as good as mine (ironically this entire argument assumes that my theology is the right one in the first place, which is really arrogant of me to say, but this is just an example)... (Actually this example is probably truer that I'd like to admit, and frankly I am that arrogant a lot of the time. But Jesus is my righteousness, and by His grace He'll teach me to be more humble... see how useful this teaching is? Okay back to the point..). The laws we make can be anything, from "Christians should not watch these kinds of movies" to "the house needs to be kept tidy." As long as I obey these laws, I feel good about myself and I tend to look down on those who break these laws - I might even get angry at them.

The gospel is the antidote to all of this. Both of these tendencies, pretending and performing, distort reality. Pretending distorts the ugliness of my sinfulness, and performing distorts the truth about God's holiness. The gospel, however, allows us to embrace reality, and to live joyfully in it. In the gospel, I can allow God to show me more and more of my sinfulness as I continue to trust in Jesus for my righteousness and acceptance with God. In the gospel, I can discover more of God's holiness and the impossible standard I am called to without trying to lower it to something I can perform. Trusting in the fact that Jesus met that perfect standard in my place, I am freed up to joyfully obey God's commands through the grace and power of Jesus' Spirit within me, stumbling as I go along.

I hope you can see the beauty of this kind of gospel centered life. In a time when pastors and leaders are often frantically looking for the next big thing, or deeper teaching, or at repackaging the Christian faith to be relevant to a postmodern world, I think there is something to be said for getting the gospel right first. After all, Paul said that it was of "first importance."

"For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures." 1 Corinthians 15:3-4

Where Are the Men?

2009-10-06T21:21:00.002-04:00

The Lord has been laying something on my heart for some time now. I have been increasingly burdened for the inner lives of men, especially the men who attend Heritage College. Having spent two years as an RA, serving and ministering to many of these guys 1 on 1 or in small group settings, I have only found my burden and passion growing. This year, however, unlike the last two years, I am not an RA - I am not even in dorm! Instead, I am happily married and living off campus. But this leaves me with no viable outlet for my burden and passion to see these guys grow and be transformed.

Introducing: Where Are the Men? It is my new outlet. I am starting this ministry in order to see God move in the lives of the guys on campus. Right now it is still mainly in my head, on some loose scraps of paper, and on one precious file on my computer, but it is also coming to life through conversations, prayer, planning, and execution.

The thrust of it is to speak to men as men, to open their eyes to what God calls them to be, to speak truth to the myriad of lies that men are taught in our culture, and to beg the Holy Spirit to so empower the lives of these men that their wives and children and grandchildren will reap the benefits.

That is my vision, my prayer, and my expectation.

God is calling me to have more boldness and faith and prayer than I have to this point in my life. I've never started a ministry before. I don't really know what I'm doing. Yet I have this burning passion and I have brothers and sisters who are willing to come alongside me and pray - pray that God might be pleased to do something through our youthful zeal and idealism (which, historically speaking, is how God usually starts what we later call "movements") - pray that God might be pleased to glorify Himself, to magnify His name and worth and beauty through a few lives truly touched by the Living God.

God is also calling me to homework, apparently, and I struggle to find the balance between these things.

Oh, This Heart of Mine!

2009-10-05T14:14:00.001-04:00

Oswald Chambers – The Nature of Degeneration

Romans 5:12 – “Just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all men sinned…”

“The Bible does not say that God punished the human race for one man’s sin, but that the nature of sin, namely, my claim to my right to myself, entered into the human race through one man. But it also says another Man [Jesus] took upon Himself the sin of the human race and put it away – an infinitely more profound revelation (see Hebrews 9:26). The nature of sin is not immorality and wrongdoing, but the nature of self-realization which leads us to say, ‘I am my own god.’ This nature may exhibit itself in proper morality or in improper immorality, but it always has a common basis – my claim to my right to myself. When our Lord faced either people with all the forces of evil in them, or people who were living clean-living, moral, and upright, He paid no attention to the moral degradation of one, nor any attention to the moral attainment of the other. He looked at something we do not see, namely, the nature of man (see John 2:25)."

It is so much easier to make salvation about my moral choices of right and wrong rather than solely on Jesus’ righteousness – it is especially difficult for me, being someone who is bent much more toward moral conformity rather than moral rebellion. I am still so likely to try to prove myself, to my own self I suppose (for God does not ask this proving of me). I think I still want to believe there is righteousness in me, that is of me, instead of accepting the truth of what God’s Word says in Isaiah 64:7 that all my “righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away”. What arrogance this reveals in me!

I read recently an incredible book by Timothy Keller called “The Prodigal God” about the parable of the prodigal son. He looked at this parable in a way I have not yet heard before, narrowing in on the older brother rather than the typical emphasis on the younger brother. He exposed the equal or greater spiritual lostness of the older brother who stayed with his father and did everything “right”. In the end of the parable it’s revealed that his heart was as distant from his father’s as his younger brother’s was. His “goodness” as a son was also motivated by self-interest rather than pure love for the father. He, like his brother, was using his father for his inheritance and what he could get out of him just as much as the younger brother. His heart was exposed when in anger he ignored his father’s pleadings to come in to celebrate his brother’s return. He did not want his father to welcome his younger brother home again with such open arms because it meant a loss to him again. I cannot go into all of it in this blog, but Ihighly recommend the book. It’s short, but can change your life and awaken you to your heart, especially if you are like me - church-bred since birth.

Having been raised in the church and having generally lived a very moral life, my temptation is to put my faith in myself instead of Jesus. My temptation is to not examine the deeper motives of my heart beneath the “righteous acts” that will reveal that my heart too surges with a nature as bent on self-glorification and self-will as any one else’s. I can so quickly get into the mindset that God owes me because I’ve been "so good" for Him. The bottom line is: I say I love Christ with all my heart and that I surrender all to Him, but then I still tend to take back the right to myself soon after when I don’t like what He’s doing or don’t understand how it makes sense. And then, in order to get around the discomfort of that conviction, I subconsciously rest on my moral performance as being the gauge for sin - not self-idolatry.

May God continue to have mercy on me and transform my heart in order that I might throw my all upon faith in Jesus Christ and nothing else, and entrust to Him every aspect of my life, whatever it costs, for no other motive but that I love Him.

Ashamed of the Gospel?

2009-10-04T12:44:00.001-04:00

“They did not realize he was the Son of God.”

One of our pastors preached on the gospel this morning. It was a beautiful and powerful message, as any true presentation of the gospel will be. He was talking about how Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane was deserted, how even his three closest friends did not stay awake to pray with him in his darkest moment of need. As a man facing the cross, Jesus prayed out of his humanity’s weakness, anguishing, asking God if there was any other way for redemption to be fulfilled; but if there was not, he affirmed he was surrendered to God’s will, not his. God did not answer Jesus’ prayer that night in the garden. The cross was the only way, and though Scripture tells us that Jesus could have at any moment called twelve legions of angels to rescue him, he did not. Jesus allowed himself to be forsaken by God that I might not be, that youmight not be. He watched the very people he created, loved and came to redeem scream out, “Crucify him!” He watched his closest companions and friends run away in fear when he was wrongly accused. He didn’t have to, but yet he went to the cross, to redeem them, to redeem us – so great is His love toward us! 1 John 4:10,19 - "This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. ... We love because he first loved us."

I was struck very deeply this morning about the reality of who I would be likened to in that story. I know all too well in my heart that I too would have fled in a moment, because I see so clearly in my life today how I still flee in those moments. My actions often show that I am still ashamed of the gospel, ashamed of the shame my Lord bore, that I also am unwilling to give all to follow in His footsteps, no matter the cost. I still love my reputation and my freewill more than my Saviour, who I claim I love one moment, but desert the next. That’s why this morning when my pastor said of the Jews that they crucified him because “they did not realize he was the Son of God”, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I too often do not realize that Jesus Christ is the Son of the Most High God. I forget the high cost of what he gave for me, and am so quick to take it lightly because of its familiarity.

In communion this morning God impressed upon my mind a visual image of how to this day I forget Jesus is the Son of God and slap him often in the face as though his sacrifice was little to me. Every time the Spirit whispers, or the Word presses upon me to obey God, and I instead choose my own way, my own desires, my own will, I have effectually slapped my Lord’s face and said, “My way, not yours!” When it doesn't cost me more than I think it should, I stick with Jesus with all the fire and gumption of Peter when he claimed he’d die for Jesus if it came to it; but in the moment of testing, I cower and hide. I am no better than the disciples who ran, Peter who denied, or the Jews who spat on Him.

Paul says in Romans 1:16a – “I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.” Oh that I might not forget that Jesus Christ is the Son of God who bore the weighty punishment for my sin that I might have a relationship with God - one that is as intimate and lovely as any relationship imaginable. May I not forgot that his shame, his cross, purchased my very life because He loves me! How can I, knowing this, refuse to face the possible shame I might incur in this world if I stand for Him? Because the truth is, that cross did not just cause the Son of God’s death – He also ROSE, conquering sin and the grave once and for all, that now anyone who trusts in Jesus as His Saviour has eternal life. Jesus is the Living One, the Son of God, my Saviour, my Friend. He is with me this moment as real as this computer is to me. This is not just some belief system, some religion or a lifestyle I hold to. The gospel message is truth, it is reality - not mere story, fable or conjecture. Jesus Christ the Son of God is alive and He is my Saviour. My life – words, actions, attitudes, all! – ought to scream of this! I will never be ashamed of the gospel when I strive to remember every moment with the deepest recollection that the good news of what Jesus Christ accomplished on the cross truly is “the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes!”

Mort the Mortificator - Chapter 2

2009-09-20T23:37:00.003-04:00

The Mortification of Sin, by John Owen

I haven't been reading this book on sin very much but I thought of it today and remembered that I wanted to continue paraphrasing it in English. I did have chapter two done, but I never posted it. So here it is:

*****

Believers ought to make it their duty to put sin to death every day, despite being assuredly free from condemnation. "Be killing sin, or it will be killing you." The fact is that indwelling sin will always be in us while we live. Perfection is not to be ours in this life - Phil. 3:12, 2 Cor. 4:16.

Sin doesn't just passively abide in us, it actively works to bring about sin! Sin is never at work so much as when it seems the most dormant - therefore we ought to strive against it always, at all times and in all circumstances. It works in many ways: inclining our hearts towards evil (Romans 7:19); hidering us from doing good (Romans 7:19, Gal. 5:17); and distracting us and taking our minds and hearts away from God (Heb. 12:1).

"Sin is always acting, always conceiving, always seducing and tempting." If sin is always acting, subtle and committed to killing our souls, and we are lazy, negligent, and foolish in fighting it, can we really expect a good result in our lives?

Not only does sin continually abide and strive against us, but it always aims at the worst - it always desires to bring about great, cursed, scandalous, soul-destroying sins. If we are negligent in fighting the flesh, it will bring these grace sins about: because every time it tempts, if it had its way, it would bring about the worst possible manifestation of that sin. Every lustful thought or glance would be adultery, every covetous thought would be theft and jealousy, every moment of anger would be murder, and every speck of unbelief would be atheism. Consider how many, lured by these smaller sins, have been led to commit unthinkable evils, leading to their destruction. At first, it is always modest in its temptings and proposals, but once it has got a footing in the heart, sin presses on to bring about worse sins of that kind.

"Sin has no bougns but utter relinquishment of God." Nothing can prevent this but mortification. There is no Christian so holy or strong that they may cease mortifying sin every day.

This is one the main reasons why we have received the Holy Spirit, and a new nature - to have power with which to fight sin. "Not to be daily mortifying sin is to sin against the goodness, kindness, wisdom, grace, and love of God, who has furnished us with a principle [a power] for doing it." When one neglects this duty, sin flourishes, and can we really be surprised when that one is weakened, day after day, in the inner man, and his soul suffocates?

So the first general principle is to daily mortify sin, avoiding the two extremes of 1) legalism, which leads only to self-righteousness, and 2) license, which neglects mortification.

Christian leaders are for the most part unmortified and of no help here. As for the leaders themselves, they have slight thoughts of their sin. "The root of an unmortified life is the digestion of sin, without bitterness in the heart." As to their followers, they are led astray into thinking that since they are just like their leaders, there is no need for their own mortification.

*****

I don't know if this stuff is of interest to anyone else but me, so I won't rush into paraphrasing more chapters, but I do want to slowly work through the entire book and internalize it. So as I go I'll post it here in case anyone cares to read it!

Blessings.

Summer Reading Part 3: Modern-Day Missionary Miracles

2009-08-28T00:11:00.004-04:00

Modern-Day Missionary Miracles by Rev. Bill Phillips

I couldn't track down a picture of this one. In the same theme as Footprints Across Quebec, this book was written by Rev. William L. Phillips, the Fellowship French Mission's first director. He has since passed away.

These are just some quick thoughts I jotted down and later edited.

I read the whole book cover to cover in one afternoon. For one thing, it isn't very long, but also I just couldn't put it down. I don't know if it was the fact that I have personally met so many of the people in the book or if the story just gripped me - probably both - but I was deeply affected by what I read.

Sometimes as I read I had a very strange sense of divine irony - I read about God moving through events that I attended - yet had no care for at the time. I think especially of the evangelistic camp that our church in Laval put on one summer in August. The evenings were filled with testimonies of how God had moved that day, but all I remember is sitting back in the translation booth where my Dad was translating the speakers into English. I was busy drawing Japanese animation characters fighting to the bloody death on a pad of graph paper. And if you don't believe me, I still have the drawings.

The spiritual maturity, dedication, perseverance, and missionary zeal of these men and women who labored in the 40s to 70s is just amazing. These were totally committed disciples and missionaries. They were zealous and passionate and loved the Quebecois deeply. I am completely humbled by their example.

I have met some of these men and women at my Dad's office, my parents have introduced me to them, I shake their hands at Christmas parties, and yet I have no idea that they spent time in prison for preaching the gospel, that they have planted many churches, and that through them a real indigenous church planting movement has been started. These men and women have given their entire lives to see the Quebecois people, including myself, come to know the Lord Jesus. What an honor. I find myself caught up in the history of one of God's great recent works and yet largely oblivious to the significance of it due to my familiarity with it all.

One thing that really strikes me about the difference between them and me is our that our whole mindset seems to be fundamentally different. They are missionaries. They are essentially sent ones, and they know themselves to be. I, on the other hand, do not have that deep sense of being on mission, of being called, of being sent for the accomplishment of a mission. Life seems too normal - this is where I grew up, these are my friends, this is my life - and that sense of being an alien and a stranger and a sent missionary on mission is largely foreign to me. I know I know I know that the right mindset is to be a sent one, but I can't seem to flip the switch in my head to see myself in that way. It's like I have a fundamentally different view of myself - perhaps because growing up as a "Christian" it just seems all so normal, whereas the English missionaries were, well, missionaries, and the converts were the first fruit among a large unbelieving population. Maybe that has something to do with it.

Regardless of the reason, I want that to change. I want to also see myself as on mission. Bible college is terrible for this. It makes you view ministry as a career instead of a calling, despite what they might say. If we are training for it like anyone trains for a career, what does that say about how we will view it? SEMBEQ certainly is a far more missional structure.

These books about the growth of French Baptist churches are so fascinating to me. I wonder if other denominations who did similar work during those years have published their own accounts of what happened. I have a couple more books about Quebec to read, but summer is winding down so who knows when I'll get to them.

In the meantime, I'll post more thoughts on books I've read this summer.

Summer Reading Part 2: Footprints Across Quebec

2009-08-21T19:42:00.007-04:00

Another book I've read this summer is Footprints Across Quebec - The Autobiography of Murray Heron, Pioneer missionary to Quebec.

There are a couple of reasons why I chose to read this book. The first is that I've had a growing interest in the land of my birth, and especially the history and state of the church there. This book is about one of the pioneer missionaries who went to Quebec from Ontario and spent his entire life there being spent for the salvation of Quebecers. The second reason is that my Mom wrote it. I still remember her typing away in the basement office on her old Macintosh computer (they weren't cool like they are now) with newspaper clippings and old recordings of Mr. Heron dictating the stories that made up the book. Well, as a selfish, ungrateful teenage son, with no interest in much beyond video games and cars, of course I wasn't too interested in reading my Mom's book about the old guy from our church. It's not nice, but it's true.

But times have changed and so have I, somewhat, and this summer I read with great enjoyment this little book about some of the first fruits of the gospel in Quebec. Murray Heron was a missionary to Quebec. That is probably one of the things that amazed me the most as I read. I am studying Missions and Missiology in school - and I was stunned to see how devoted and how sacrificial Mr. Heron and the other missionaries were. I was blown away by the love that he had for the Quebecers, that he would gladly endure their jeering, mocking, spitting, punching, and harassing. He served time in jail like many of the first missionaries and believers did. And he was driven by his sense of calling to this place and these people, and by the love he had for them. If only they would believe in Christ and be saved, that would be enough.

Growing up in Quebec, you don't get the sense that it is a mission field the way that people often use that term. Especially growing up in the church, I didn't get the sense that such a thing was odd or strange or new - it was simply what I'd always known since I could remember. I think that is part of the reason I never really had a burden for Quebec or Quebecers. It was all just so normal to me. It's only now, looking in with some perspective, that I am starting to see things as they really are.

I see a province where sixty years ago people did not have Bibles and they were discouraged and even prevented from getting them. I see a province where the blood, sweat, tears, and most of all prayers, of missionaries and sending churches all across Canada and the US, have borne the fruit of hundreds of churches and thousands of French Canadian believers. I am French Canadian, and I am a believer, and I had never realized before that what God has so graciously done in me and in so many other Quebecers is part of the answer to a thousand prayers that were prayed in faith.

Most exciting of all is how right away indigenous (that is, Quebecois) leaders emerged and took leadership, and now there is a second and even third generation of young Quebecers who are being stirred by the Holy Spirit to bring the gospel to Quebec. This is the goal of all missions, to have native leaders replace the missionaries, and it is happening in Quebec!

Truly God has done amazing things there. Truly the Holy Spirit has been at work mightily. I have been so blind to it, but through this book and other conversations, my eyes are opening to the reality of God's work in Quebec. The question I asked myself and God as I finished this book was "What is my place in all of this?" Why is it that I grew up only French at first, and then began to dislike French very much and consider myself English, with the intent of leaving the province as soon as possible? Why is it that, even when I got saved, there wasn't a tug or a sense that I should stay? Why was it that all the pressure I sensed from the leaders in Quebec to stay stay stay simply drove me away all the more? Why was it that I had to go to another province and spend three years in Bible school before I was ready to really learn about Quebec and begin to have a burden for the church there? Only God knows. But that question still comes back... "What is my place in all of this?" For what purpose has God allowed me to know French? I have so many questions. My path has been a long one, and it has strayed far from Quebec. I sometimes wonder if the people there think I don't understand, or that I took the easy way out, and I wonder if they don't think I have anything to say to them, to the church there.

I don't know. I wonder.

For now, I am here and I know this is where God has placed me, in His sovereignty. I am at peace with that. Yet, I feel this burden for the Quebec church - for it not to stagnate but to be filled with the Holy Spirit again and for the next generation of believers to have such a sense of calling there that they begin to act and live just like missionaries - isn't that how we should all live if God has providentially called us to live in the places we are living right now? - that they would not, like I did, think it so normal and mundane, but that they would get a clear picture of the incredible work God has done, and that they would become so passionate about the gospel, and that they would preach and teach and reach Quebecers all over the place.

This book was a great read, and a very personal one for me on many levels. Obviously it stirred up a lot of things in me. I recommend it to you. It's well written too.

Way to go, Mom !

Summer Reading Part 1: Vintage Church

2009-08-19T18:58:00.005-04:00

Summer is a great time for reading. I'll try to do a few posts that have some thoughts about some of the books I've enjoyed this summer.

Vintage Church, by Mark Driscoll and Gerry Breshears

This book is about the Church and churches in general. Mark Driscoll speaks provocatively to evangelical churches but does it from a place of theological orthodoxy and with good reason. The highlights for me were: 1) his reflections on how modern and postmodern ways of thinking have affected the last two generations of churches; 2) the discussion about church membership and whether to make it very easy to be a church member or more demanding. I liked his argument that making membership more stringent raises the commitment levels of those who are members and essentially keeps those who only want to consume, not invest, more on the outside. 3) The chapter on preaching was quite good, as he took a balanced approach to weighing the pros and cons of various preaching methods, such as expository, topical, and narrative. 4) The chapter on church unity had some great observations about why churches divide and separate. Definitely worth reading for any pastor. 5) Chapter 9 on "what is a missional church?" is required reading to understand Driscoll and the Acts 29 movement. A term that conservatives often dismiss, and one that young emergent types love to throw around, "missional" is defined differently by each person who uses it. It's worth the time and effort to see what Driscoll means by it. 6) And finally, chapter 11 on technology is actually quite good and most churches could probably have their perspective adjusted here. New technology is not the devil, but neither will it bring anyone new birth. It is a tool to be used, it is a resource to be stewarded. To write it off and ignore it is unwise, but to put one's hope in it is idolatry. Actually to cling on to old technology as if that were somehow holier is also idolatry.

Overall is was a good book for anyone interested in the church, especially anyone wondering what a church should look like, given all of the drastically different church models being taught and tried today. It's not that this book tells you what a church should look like, but it asks the right questions and points us in the right direction - towards faithfulness to Christ, not tradition or cultural relevance - and towards a passion to see the church accomplish the mission for which it exists.

Thanks to my friend Sean for lending it to me =]

Not Anything Else

2009-07-22T21:24:00.003-04:00

Here I am about to listen to a sermon/conference message on preaching. I can't wait. It's by one of my favorite preachers. He preaches with passion and boldness and clarity and relevance. I want to do that as well. I recently preached my first sermon. I truly enjoyed it. I prepared, studied, prayed, wrote notes, prayed, changed notes, wrote more notes, procrastinated, prayed more urgently, scrapped most of the notes, and then it was time to go. I preached on a theme of scripture that is close to my heart, and I felt free to let my passion go, as I strove to explain the importance and relevance and weight of what the Scriptures meant.

I like preaching.

I am blessed to read and listen to a lot of solid, Biblical, provocative, convicting messages. One that I recently listened to was called "Minsitry Idolatry," and it was a timely word from the Word that pierced my heart. I saw all the more clearly how prevalent, available, and tempting it is to make idols out of ministry.

Like many people, I want to serve God and further His kingdom. I want to be an agent for change in people's lives and in the community where I find myself. I want to see people come to Christ. I want to preach the Word in the power of the Holy Spirit in a transformative way. But... how much do I want those things? Is it possible to want them too much? Yes - and it's so easy to do it. I smuggle my pride and self into the picture so subtly. I want to serve God, and be seen as a good servant. I want to be an agent for change, and to have many thankful people who thank me for helping them change. I want to see people come to Christ... through me. I want to preach with power, and be known as a powerful preacher. Damn it. I am so unrelentlessly bent towards making much of myself.

Here I am about to listen to a sermon/conference message on preaching, and I'm so excited. And it dawns on me . . . I'm more excited about this preaching video than I am about Jesus right now. Oh God - what have I done? I've made this good thing - preaching - into an ultimate thing, and in so doing I have obscured you, ignored you, and turned my heart from you. Right now ministry seems so scary. It is literally a minefield of temptations and traps that Satan wants me to walk into. And there is this very narrow path that leads safely across the minefield. God, himself, is that path. I need Him, truly and deeply, personally and intimately. The path is not good preaching, prayer, study, or even faithful service in a church; it isn't staying away from sin and avoiding temptation, nor is it keeping my doctrine orthodox and Biblical; it isn't loving others consistently and being selfless. The path, the only safe way, is to know, and desire, and seek, and hunger after the living God, who is Jesus Christ, through the Holy Spirit, and to desire Him more - so much more - than anything else, no matter how good it is, even conversions and humility and spiritual growth and church planting.

God would you straighten my crooked heart that I might walk this straight path.

Psalm 73:25 "Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you."

May it be so with me and with you.

Phil's First Preaching Experience!

2009-07-19T21:15:00.001-04:00

Well, today Phil preached his first sermon at a beautiful little church just north of London! We decided to take this classic cheesy photo by the church sign out front so we could remember this day. I was so proud of Phil. God has really gifted him as a preacher, and we received much affirmation and encouragement from the congregation afterwards. It's amazing how the Spirit equips us for God's work. I felt very blessed to stand beside my husband and hear him preach for the first time - I have to say, even I was a little bit surprised at the ease and passion with which he spoke! Our close friend, Jenny, was able to accompany us as well as she stayed with us for a few days. It was awesome to have her support and prayers with us. Many of our friends were surprised this was Phil's first time preaching, as though they assumed he had many times before, but Phil and I both really sensed like the timing was right for this new element of ministry to open up for him now. He didn't pursue it, though he desired it, and God just opened these doors for him to walk through. God's timing is perfect. He will be preaching again at our home church later in August, so he could use prayer for that as well!

The church we went to has been around for 187 years, and the building itself is over a hundred years old! It was quite beautiful. It had a seriously old pipe organ that Phil got to try out before the service which he was quite happy about!

Party Time!

2009-07-18T10:32:00.001-04:00

Every summer our dear friend, Krystal, and her husband put on a pool party for friends from our Bible college. It gives us an awesome opportunity to stay connected and see friends we maybe haven't in a long time. It has definitely become one of my favorite days of the year, and I know will grow to be even more so as the years go on, kids arrive, and it becomes harder to stay connected as friends move away after graduation. I had an amazing time, and although Phil was busy most of the day writing his sermon for tomorrow, he also was able to come for a few hours near the end! I walked away from that party feeling incredibly blessed for the amazing friends God has brought into our lives over the years!

Here are just a FEW of many pics from the day:

"The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas"

2009-07-06T23:51:00.002-04:00

Whoa. We just watched this movie tonight about the Nazi concentration camps. I couldn't help but weep afterwards. Great movie, dreadful history. We recommend watching it.

Death is Not Dying: A Faith That Saves

2009-07-05T14:18:00.006-04:00

Phil and I just watched this last night. It is the testimony of Rachel Barkey, a beautiful 37 year old woman, the mother of two children, who is in the midst of dying of cancer. At the time of the recording of this video just a short time ago (March 2009) she had just recently found out that she had anywhere from 6 weeks to a few months left to live. Rachel Barkey just passed away two days ago on July 3, 2009. If you have some time, I strongly encourage you to watch this video or listen to the audio. Click on the link below to watch (not the pic of the video).

Death is Not Dying: A Faith that Saves

Garage Sales, a Wedding and a Walk

2009-07-04T21:34:00.010-04:00

Phil and I had a pretty chill day today. It was a beautiful Saturday and Phil had the day off. We hit up some garage sales looking for some cheap ways to decorate our new little home. I love garage sales, always have. I used to go with my dad almost every Saturday morning and he'd buy me a little something for 5 or 10 cents. I think garage sales are probably the only place you can still buy anything for 1o cents! Phil and I got two great end tables last Saturday for $20 and were very pleased with them! Now I'm looking for something to fill the large wall space above our couch. I want to do something creative, but making the decision to go ahead and stick something up on a wall is not a Seeney strength (*ahem* Christen, I caught your disease). It feels like much too large of a commitment when there are so many options I could have fun with. I fear my walls will barren for quite some time yet!

We checked out the Cambridge farmer's market after the garage sales, and then headed off to watch our friend Eric get married. It was a gorgeous wedding and it was such a blessing to be there. It was the first wedding we have attended since own, so it was a new experience to know exactly what it feels like to be the ones waiting nervously. I definitely don't want to do it again, but it was great to be there to witness the coming together of two dear people. It was lovely. After the ceremony we drove back to Cambridge and went down to the river and tried out L.A. Franks frips fries and took a short walk together.

It's funny, looking back on our day in this way makes it sound so perfect and dreamlike, but in reality we struggled today. Marriage is so faithful to reveal the selfishness of our hearts. Phil and I hurt each other often throughout today by being impatient or uncaring to one another. Today very much reminded me how much I need to be close to Jesus and relying on Him to be able to love my husband. I haven't been taking the quiet time I need the past few days, and boy does it show in my actions. I am a sinner, thank goodness Christ is a great Saviour! Thankfully, I have been given forgiveness, both from God and from Phil. I am blessed.

Here are the rest of the shots from our walk along the Grand River:

Mort the Mortifier.. Chapter 1

2009-07-03T14:48:00.004-04:00

Well what better place to start than with some John Owen, or as I have decided to call him, Mort the Mortifier. If that's not funny to you, don't worry about it. If that's offensive to you... well you might be reading the Puritans too much.

I've started writing a concise version of Owen's Mortification of Sin. It is mostly for myself - it helps me to understand his writing instead of glossing over it, but I'll post it here in the hope that it can be of help to someone. Owen's writing is incredibly insightful for understanding sin and the flesh. Those aren't popular topics these days, but what deeper need is there than to know the schemes of our flesh and the enemy of our souls. Many of the men who are recognized as Christians who truly know God recommend this little book and speak of the profound effect it had on them. We would be fools to overlook testimonies like that.

Chapter 1:

"It is not enough to live in and enjoy our life as free from condemnation - we must also actively mortify our sin. That (the putting to death of our sin) is how we will live, how we will attain the new life that Christ promises to our mortal bodies (Romans 8:11). All of this is through (vs. 11) and by (vs. 13) the Holy Spirit. He gives life, but that life is received as we, by the Holy Spirit, put our sin, our flesh, and our lusts, to death. If anything but the Spirit is doing this, it will lead only to self-righteousness and false religion. Oh! How desperately, how miserably, how deeply we need this Spirit."

"Sin is crafty, subtle, deadly, and evil. Like any living thing, to put it to death is to have its power, life, vigor, and strength taken away by the Spirit."

"The life (‘you will live’) is not only eternal life, but life abundantly (John 10:10), full of joy, comfort, and power, while here on earth." How I long for more of that.

Hello!

2009-07-02T10:58:00.002-04:00

Just testing this bad boy out.

Let the Blogging Begin!

2009-07-02T00:02:00.004-04:00

Well, as a newly married couple, Phil and I have decided to start our own little blog together! This will give us both a place to share our thoughts, pictures and general updates on life for those who are interested in such things. We hope it's a blessing to you!